Thinking About Thinking: How Metacognition Helps You Change Your Relationship With Your Mind
Have you ever stopped and noticed how convincing your thoughts can feel? For instance…
“Something bad is going to happen.”
“I always mess things up.”
“If I feel this anxious, it must mean I’m not safe.”
In therapy, one of the most helpful skills clients learn is metacognition. This describes the ability to notice and reflect on your thoughts, rather than automatically believing them.
Two thinkers help us understand why this skill is so powerful: neuroscientist Anil Seth and psychologist Robert Sternberg.
Your Brain Is Making Predictions, Not Facts
Anil Seth explains that the brain is constantly predicting what’s happening in the world and inside your body. What you experience as thoughts, emotions, and even perceptions are your brain’s best guesses based on past experiences.
This means:
Thoughts are not facts
Feelings are not instructions
Your mind is trying to protect you, even when it overreacts
When anxiety shows up, your brain may be predicting danger, even if there’s no real threat in the present moment.
Metacognition helps you notice: “This is my brain making a prediction.”
That awareness alone can soften the intensity.
Wisdom Is Choosing How to Respond
Psychologist Robert Sternberg talks about wisdom as the ability to reflect on your own thinking and make choices that support long-term well-being.
Instead of asking “Is this thought true?” (which can lead to arguments with your mind), therapy often invites gentler questions:
Is this thought helpful right now?
What happens when I believe this thought?
What other perspective could also be true?
This is where change happens, not by controlling thoughts, but by changing your relationship to them.
Why This Matters in Therapy
When you develop metacognitive skills, you begin to:
Create space between you and your thoughts
Respond instead of react
Feel less controlled by anxiety, shame, or self-criticism
Make choices based on values rather than fear
Your thoughts become information and not commands.
A Short Guided Exercise: Observing a Thought
So what does this look like when applied in practice? Try this the next time a strong thought shows up.
Pause and notice
Take a slow breath. Notice the thought that’s present.Name it
Silently say: “I’m having the thought that ______.” (For example: “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”)Reframe it as a prediction
Try: “My brain is predicting ______.”Check in with yourself
Ask gently: “Is it helpful for me to believe this right now?”
You don’t need to get rid of the thought. Just noticing it, without judgment, can reduce its grip.
